randomdestielfangirl:

Disclaimer: I am not trying to convince people her decisions are right. They’re not, she’s screwing up left, right, centre. I’m just trying to defend her character as it is, flaws and all. 

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts calling Mary every name in the book, saying she deserves to die, that she’s boring, that she doesn’t deserve Sam and Dean etc. Part of this hysterical reaction comes from the fact that in popular culture we have the permanent, never-dying Mother Goddess™ trope. Any woman who becomes a mother is expected to be a Mother Goddess, no exceptions. Her previous personality is all but erased.

Now, for 11 seasons, Mary has been a Mother Goddess, simply by virtue of being dead. Only Dean has any memory of her and I wouldn’t trust a four year old’s memory at all. My four year old certainly thinks I’m a Mother Goddess, and trust me, I’m not. 

Sam and Dean are trying so hard, she’s not even making an effort!

Yes I agree she’s not making an effort. What everyone seems to have forgotten is that Mary at 12×01 has just LOST her children, baby Sam and little Dean. They’re as good as dead – she was ripped away from her heaven, without her consent, and pushed into this strange new world.

She’s grieving, cut her some slack. We know this Sam and Dean – she doesn’t. And she may not want to. Think of it this way – are you ever going to march up to a bereaved parent and say – “Hey, don’t worry about the kid you lost, here’s a new replacement one! Now spend time with him!”

No. It doesn’t work that way. Mary’s children, the one she recognizes as her children are the infants she left behind. These grown men aren’t. 

She claims she hates hunting, but she’s doing it!

And? She is a good hunter, she’s a fantastic hunter. And she’s clearly using it as a means for coping because again, HER CHILDREN ARE DEAD IN THIS UNIVERSE. Is it healthy? Nope. But it’s a choice she’s making. 

She’s not spending any time with Sam and Dean!

She doesn’t know them .They’re older than her, they don’t need her at all. She could get to know them, try to love them, but I think she’s still feeling too raw to give it a chance. 

She’s betraying them! She’s working with the people who tortured Sam!

Let me say something here that may incense people. Mary doesn’t think of this Sam as her Sam. She doesn’t feel the same protectiveness because he’s just this nice, sweet older man who is technically her son.. but not quite either. She cannot possibly love him like her own. Like I said, if a random woman who is older then me turned up claiming to be my daughter while my actual 4 year old goes missing, I’d be devastated. You bet I won’t be lining up to ‘parent’ the adult, because I don’t know her. 

The BMOL gave her a reasonable explanation of a rogue agent. They’ve also promised a monster-free world. In the current, grieving state of Mary, this might actually seem like a good idea. Is it a good decision? NOPE.

In summary –

Mary is being a normal human being, thrown into a world she didn’t ask to be put in. She’s an unhappy, lost woman who is trying her best to find her feet in the world. I am thrilled that the writers have removed her halo, because we need real female characters in shows. Not just caricatures.    

I agree she’s making poor decisions. But how is t any different from every other character in this show? Why do they get a free pass? 

Agreed. Making bad decisions is like a requirement in this show.  They’ve all done it. It’s not a good thing, but it’s Supernatural.

At any rate it creates conflict and problems and depth and I’m so here for that.